


Let The Healing Light Come In

by wolfie_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6051271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfie_winchester/pseuds/wolfie_winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel doesn't believe he deserves to be saved. After everything he's done, the only way he can help anymore is to say yes to Lucifer. It's the only way to save Dean and defeat the Darkness. The thing is - it's not Dean that needs saving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Healing Light Come In

“Dean, that’s not Cas!”

 

Dean takes a second to process Sam’s warning and he slowly looks over at the angel standing next to him. Not-Cas smiles crookedly at him.

 

“Cat’s out,” he says.

 

Before he can react, he’s sent flying across the table. In his peripheral, he sees Lucifer do a little dance before smiling over at the two of them. The only thought on Dean’s mind as Lucifer approaches them, whining about how difficult it is to pretend to be Cas, is how they didn’t notice this earlier. He isn’t sure what’s more troubling - the fact that they couldn’t tell until now, or that Lucifer is just that good at playing Cas. He starts to get up and Lucifer flings him across the room into the wall, his head hitting the concrete and making stars go off behind his eyes.

 

Lucifer approaches him like an animal closing in on its kill and Dean can see Sam painting the angel-banishing sigil on the pillar next to him. Dean just hopes Lucifer doesn’t notice what he’s doing. Luckily, it seems all the archangel’s attention is on him at the moment. Dean can’t move an inch to defend himself and he waits for the inevitable pain of whatever Lucifer is about to do to him.

 

But it never comes.

 

“Dammit,” Lucifer mutters, wincing like he’s in pain. “Not again.”

 

Dean understands what’s happening in a heartbeat and he takes the opportunity to reach out to the angel he knows is still trapped in there.

 

“Cas! Come on, you can do it! Fight him!” he exclaims, struggling against his invisible bindings. Lucifer closes his eyes, grimacing in pain and he stumbles to his knees, hand clenching into a fist on the hardwood floor. Dean feels the hold on him lessen marginally and hope builds in his chest. Cas is fighting the devil. And he’s winning.

 

“Castiel, I will not allow you to-”

 

He cuts himself off with a sharp gasp and when he opens his eyes again, Dean knows it’s his friend he’s staring at. The grip on him vanishes completely and Dean runs over to Cas, gathering him in his arms.

 

“Cas, you gotta cast him out!” he says.

 

Cas just shakes his head and winces as Lucifer tries to take control back.

 

“I can’t. We need him to defeat Amara. To save you.” Cas looks up at him, unwavering in his conviction. “I’m not powerful enough. You need Lucifer to do this.”

 

“No, we don’t! Come on, man, you’re smarter than this! We’ll figure something out,” Dean assures him. Cas looks like he wants to believe him, but he just smiles sadly and shakes his head. Dean feels his heart breaking and he reaches out, stroking Cas’ hair. “What happened, Cas? Why is Lucifer possessing you?”

 

“Because I let him. I wanted to help, Dean!”

 

“You were. You are! By being you, not by letting the devil wear you to the prom!”

 

Cas whimpers in pain and clings to Dean, his grip almost painful.

 

“Don’t lie to me. I was useless,” he grits out. “At least this way, I can finally be of service to you.” Cas turns to where Sam is lying on the ground, bloody sigil made and just waiting to be activated by Sam’s hand. He’s watching with wide eyes, like maybe he’s hoping he won’t have to use it. But Cas just nods. “Do it, Sam,” he demands. “I can’t hold him back much longer.”

 

“Sammy, don’t you dare!” Dean snaps. He turns back to Cas and cradles his head in his hands. “Please, Cas. Just cast him out.”

 

“Dean, I can’t.”

 

“Can’t or won’t?”

 

Cas is quiet save for the occasional pained gasp or wince. It’s answer enough and Dean doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know why Cas would want Lucifer to ride around in his body when he must know how bad things will get if the devil is allowed to wreak havoc on the world. But when Cas looks up at him with pain in his eyes - and not just from Lucifer trying to wrest back control - it hits him.

 

“You don’t think you deserve to be saved,” Dean realizes in a sad, broken voice. It’s so painfully clear now, in the way that even though Cas could just cast Lucifer out, he won’t. Cas thinks he deserves this. Thinks that this is the only way he can be useful. As if all that’s ever mattered to them was whether or not he was a good tool.

 

“I’m sorry,” Cas whispers. He turns to Sam and starts to tell him to banish him already, when Dean grabs him and, at a loss of how else to convince the angel of how much he needs him, he places the softest of kisses against Cas’ lips.

 

“I love you,” he murmurs. “Please, Cas. Please, cast him out.”

 

Cas swallows hard and Dean touches their foreheads together, breathing quietly in the space between them. A ringing noise starts to fill his ears and Cas’ eyes start to glow. Dean smiles in encouragement and rubs Cas’ back.

 

“There you go, angel. You can do it. You’re doing so good,” he says, watching as the light gets brighter and the ringing gets louder. For a moment, Dean thinks Cas is going to do it. That Lucifer will be gone and he’ll have his angel back. But then Cas’ face contorts in pain and he lets out an agonized cry, crumpling in on himself and the light begins to fade.

 

“Dean...” Sam says, getting ready to banish Lucifer the second he takes over.

 

“Not yet, Sam. Cas’ll pull through,” Dean says, though he’s not so sure anymore. Still, he has to try and help, so he takes Cas’ hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m right here, Cas! Come on, you can do this! Send him packing already!”

 

Dean feels like Cas might break his hand with how tightly he squeezes back, but he bears the pain if it’ll help the angel fight back against Lucifer.

 

“Dean, I’m not strong enough-”

 

“Quit talking and fight, Cas!” Dean snaps, hating to sound harsh and callous, but the alternative is losing it and breaking down right here. And Cas doesn’t need that right now. He needs Dean’s hand to hold, needs to hear his voice, even if he’s snapping at him.

 

Cas lets out a long whine that turns into a chilling laugh and this time it’s Lucifer cringing in pain as he looks up at Dean.

 

“You really don’t give up do you, you little maggot?” he grits out. “Castiel can’t cast me out. He’s too weak!”

 

The hand gripping his squeezes so tight Dean feels his bones crunching and he cries out, trying to wrench his hand away. But Lucifer’s not planning on letting him go now that he has him right where he wants him. Dean hears bones snapping and cracking as Lucifer crushes his hand in his grip and Sam starts to move his hand toward the bloody sigil on the wall.

 

“Cas!” Dean gasps in a last ditch effort to get through to his angel. “Please!”

 

Lucifer laughs at him before stopping suddenly with a surprised little grunt. His eyes flash blue-white and suddenly, the room is filled with bright light. Dean’s never seen this happen before when an angel would vacate its vessel. Not like this. Cas’ eyes are glowing and when he opens his mouth, the same light spills out and nearly blinds him. He looks like he’s dying.

 

“ _Castiel!_ ” Dean shouts, grabbing his shoulder with his unbroken hand and shaking him. “If you die on me, I’ll kill you!” he manages, voice breaking as he realizes that maybe Cas really is dying for good this time.

 

Neither Cas or Lucifer responds and the light just gets brighter until Dean is forced to shield his eyes with his arm. A scream that sounds almost inhuman comes from the angel and Dean really hopes that it’s Lucifer and not Cas making that noise. Ringing in his ears like when Cas first tried talking to him makes him cringe in pain but it’s gone after a few moments. He hears a thud as something heavy hits the floor and only then does he risk opening his eyes.

 

Sam is lying on the ground, bloody palm still half in the air though he doesn’t look too sure about if he should banish whoever is lying in front of them just yet. After all, it could be Cas. Dean crawls over to the unmoving body on the ground and he awkwardly pulls him into his arms, holding him as best as he can with his broken hand.

 

“Cas? Cas, are you in there?”

 

For the longest time, he doesn’t get a response and Dean starts to wonder if whatever that light show was killed them both. He rests his good hand on Cas’ chest, feeling for a heartbeat, sighing in relief when he feels a dull thud beneath his palm. So he’s alive. The question is: which one?

 

Dean shakes him, slaps him, and even tries kissing him awake and none of it works. He starts to wonder if maybe whatever happened knocked out whoever’s currently inhabiting Cas’ vessel. And if that’s the case, they can’t banish him just yet. Not until they know for sure.

 

“Come on, Cas. Wake up for me,” he says, trying again to wake the angel up. He shifts into a more comfortable position, wincing any time he has to put pressure on his bad hand and has Sam help him move Cas until he’s lying on the ground with his head pillowed in Dean’s lap. He strokes Cas’ hair while he waits for him to come around. Something tells him that it’s his angel that’s in there, not Lucifer.

 

“Dean, is he-?” Sam starts to ask.

 

“I don’t know. His heart’s beating,” Dean replies. They’re both quiet for a moment and Sam gets up to grab a handkerchief to wrap around his palm, soaking up the blood there. His brother grits his teeth at the sting but he manages to tie the knot tightly enough before turning to Dean.

 

“Let me see your hand.”

 

Dean hisses as Sam takes his hand gently and the way his brother frowns makes Dean nervous. He really hopes that his hand isn’t broken beyond repair or something. It hurts like a bitch, but it’s nothing compared to the fear sitting like a rock in his belly. His hand can wait. Cas comes first.

 

“Dean, we really should go to the hospital for this,” Sam says. Which is what he was afraid of. Dean hates hospitals to begin with, but there’s no way he’s leaving Cas here alone. That’s the last thing he needs after this whole ordeal. Great way to show him that they care. Leaving him while they go lick their own wounds.

 

Dean shakes his head.

 

“Later,” he mumbles. “I want to wait until Cas wakes up.”

 

“There could be serious nerve damage, Dean. You might never use that hand again if you don’t-”

 

“So what? Cas needs us.”

 

“Cas might not wake up.”

 

“Don’t say that!” Dean snaps, pointing his finger at Sam with his good hand. He goes back to combing through Cas’ hair when Sam doesn’t argue further. “He’ll wake up,” he says. Though whether he's trying to assure himself or Sam, he isn’t sure.

 

Sam looks like he’s about ready to just knock Dean out and drag him to the hospital himself when a loud gasp startles the both of them. Blue eyes blink up at him in confusion and Dean feels hope fluttering in his chest.

 

“Cas?”

 

The angel sits up and looks around the room as if in a daze before his eyes finally land on Dean again. He reaches out and Dean doesn’t know if he should be expecting more pain or not. But when the hand on his cheek radiates a familiar warmth, he knows that it’s Cas who made it through. Dean smiles through a wince as Cas heals his hand and any other injuries before he pulls his friend into a tight hug.

 

“I knew you could do it,” he mumbles into Cas’ shoulder.

 

“Dean, I really shouldn’t have done that,” Cas says dejectedly, like he’s already regretting casting Lucifer out. “Now we’ll never-”

 

“Shush. I don’t care about that. I only care about having you back,” Dean replies.

 

“Why?”

 

“Why what?” Sam says.

 

“Why do you... I can’t help you. I’m not at full power anymore. I’m not... I’m not strong enough-”

 

“Cas, do you really think we care about any of that? We need _you_ ,” Sam assures him, laying a hand on the angel’s shoulder. “You’re family.”

 

“Come on,” Dean says, urging him up. They get to their feet and Cas looks around for the bunker for the first time since he came back.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says. Dean wonders how many times Cas is going to apologize to them. He shakes his head and rests his healed hand on Cas’ shoulder.

 

“It’s not your fault,” he says.

 

Cas looks shocked, like he’d been expecting Dean to yell at him. And he’s got no one to blame for that but himself. Every time Cas has tried to help and it went sideways, Dean would tear him a new one. Maybe if he would have treated Cas better, he wouldn't have felt like the only choice was to give Lucifer consent to possess him. But Dean vows that he’ll do better from now on. He’s going to treat Cas right, like he’s always deserved.

 

“I thought you would be angry at me,” Cas admits. “For saying yes.”

 

“I’m angry at Lucifer for tricking you into thinking he could help. But I'm not mad at you, Cas, I promise.”

 

Cas nods and he bites his lip nervously, like he’s not sure if he should ask whatever  he’s clearly thinking.

 

“Did you mean it?”

 

“Mean what?”

 

“When you said... what you said earlier.”

 

Oh. That. Dean nods, a shy smile on his face. In case that's not proof enough, he leans in and kisses Cas again. He cups the angel’s cheek, thumb stroking the soft skin just below his ear. Cas is flushed pink when he pulls away and Dean laces their fingers together.

 

“That answer enough for you?”

  



End file.
